All types of naps prove essential to co-eds

As a senior rapidly approaching my final semester of college, I've learned a lot. Among the important information I've acquired is the art of napping.

As we all know, napping is essential for any college student. No college student has what anyone would consider a "normal" sleep schedule. Especially this semester, my sleep schedule could be described as long strings of consciousness punctuated by brief instances of sleep. I know I am not the only one.

Over the course of the last three-and-a-half years, I've compiled a list of the eight essential types of naps: The near-coma:
This nap could be considered a full night's sleep in some areas. It usually lasts more than four hours and occurs after a student pulls an all-nighter studying or writing a paper. It is nearly impossible to rouse a college student from this type of nap. In addition, this nap serves two purposes: helps rejuvenate the student and allows the student not to think about his or her grade for a few hours.

The sleep-until-you-wake-up nap:
This nap usually varies in length, but doesn't extend beyond four hours. It is one of the most popular of the eight types and is usually taken when the average student just doesn't have anything better to do. All your work done? Not time to eat yet? Internet lose its appeal? Sleep!

The timed nap:
This nap is popular when there is still work to be done or class to be attended, but sleep is in order. This nap is popular in the early afternoon when you have late classes coming up, but a couple hours to kill. An alarm is required so this nap does not turn into the sleep-until-you-wake-up nap.

The midnight nap:
This nap has been key in getting me through this semester. It is taken between the hours of 11 p.m. and 3 a.m. when you have 10 more pages to write but your brain has shut down for the evening. In this situation, it is perfectly acceptable to set the alarm for 3 a.m., nap for a few hours and get back to writing at 3 a.m. It is virtually the same as the timed nap; it just occurs when most normal humans are sleeping.

The five-more-minutes nap:
This nap starts as the timed nap, but involves a large dose of the snooze button. If left unchecked, this nap could turn into anything ranging from the sleep-until-you-wake-up nap to the near-coma. A common characteristic of this nap is missed classes and/or a near-coma the next day.

The power nap:
This nap saves college students worldwide. The power nap, lasting no longer than 45 minutes, gives the average student just enough energy to make it through one more class. If it weren't for the power nap, cases of the final type of nap would run rampant.

The nap that never was:
For students who use their cell phones as an alarm, this is a major problem. It generally occurs during a power nap, but can occur during any nap. This nap is characterized by an unusually high rate of incoming text messages and phone calls. The persistent ringing or beeping of the cell phone make sleep impossible, but the napper cannot turn the sound off for fear of turning the alarm off.
And finally.

The oops-I-did-it-again nap:
Characterized by napping during class, this nap is very difficult to pull off without being caught by the professor. When done correctly, however, it is a thing of legend. The oops-I-did-it-again nap is the direct result of the nap that never was or the lack of any sort of nap. This nap is not recommended. It is an evil nap.

There you have it. The eight naps essential to any college student. Use this information wisely, and avoid the oops-I-did-it-again nap at all costs.